the other day we were discussing dating and this one dude was like “I don’t see the big deal why can’t people just ask people out without all the fuss” and another guy was like “well you get nervous and you get butterflies in your stomach ya know” and the first dude looked the other dude straight in the eye and said “DIGEST THEM.”
never let me play a game with a customizable character, because i will spend the entire time making the character, instead of playing the actual game
My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello”.
My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.
I will straight have a full conversation with your dog and not say shit to you
- Me watching the Olympics at age 8: Oh that's nice
- Me watching the Olympics at age 12: Wow I hope we win
- Me watching the Olympics at age 16: I'm going to fuck the entire swim team and no one can stop me
- Band member: Hi there!
- Crowd: AAAAAAAAH!
- Band member: How are you guys?
- Crowd: AAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
- Band member: Good!